11/21/2007

Alien




















NYC sa Naga City


I used to force myself to not belong. I intentionally liked the different colors, chose different clothes, cared about different things. This was how I wanted to express my individuality.

I see now I need not have done that. I sometimes feel that I am an alien, incapable of relating to others. I sometimes feel that I'm not close to people dear to me. Which is one of the reasons I'm convinced that I have an undiagnosed mental disorder.

You know what's utterly depressing? Being unable to articulate one's feeling of alienation (and sadness and loneliness), even if one is a writer.

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