No Photoshop, no problem!

Or not. This is what happens when I desperately need Photoshop for various projects and all I have is--- Microsoft Paint. Panalo. Pampalipas oras lang talaga ang mga ito.

Favorite. :)


Freedom of expression blah blah blah

There's no question: when it comes to the suppression of freedom of expression, everyone is willing to raise their fists and pens in protest. They are angry because, heck, it's the right to speech they're pummeling to ashes. If we don't speak out now, when will we react? And if we do decide to react then, will we be able to?

This is all well and good, but with this kind of thinking, we are forgetting that the right that is being violated is not only an individual right, but the people's right. That civil liberties are at stake here. That how we fight against this abomination determines how the generations after us will live.

We also tend to forget that this being a case of oppression, there is always the oppressor, and the oppressed. And (as with all cases of oppression), the oppressor uses all available means to get its way because it needs to subjugate the masses (or the oppressed). Which is not hard, as the oppressor has power. Having power means that s/he has much to lose when the status quo changes. Therefore, s/he must maintain society as it is to retain power.

Looking at it closely, the freedom to express one's self is not only about churning out inanities in one's blog and not being scared of having a libel suit delivered to your doorstep. Or having to worry about your unique outfit not being suitable to your office or school's dress code. It's about the power struggles in our society, and how the powerful take advantage of everything for their own good. And how the people struggle to uphold their rights in a society that looks at rights as privileges.

Actually, it's the history of freedom itself.


Alumni card

I am currently hesitating to claim my alumni card from St. Paul University Quezon City. I just don't see the point of bearing any kind of alumni card from your alma mater. I don't believe in school spirit anyway.

I may be cynical, but I don't think schools turn us into functional human beings. I think we are mainly responsible for this. And if we do lend ourselves to our school's process of shaping us, and we imbibe the values given to us (or pounded into us, whichever system your school is into), it's because we want to be transformed. Therefore, no matter how good a school is, if you do not want to be changed, its PAASCU or ISO rating is nothing.

Besides, what's a school compared to the whole world? I'd rather display an alumni card stating I was a student of the history of changing societies. Then again, I'd always rather be a student in this kind of school than an alumni. :)

To be continued.

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." -Mark Twain


It's one of those days again

Big news: I am restless yet again. Same people. Same topics. Same routine everyday. Same issues. Same posts. Everything is suspiciously the same, and yet I still sleep late. I keep on hoping something out of the ordinary will happen while I'm awake in the wee hours of the morning. But it never does.

I have an inkling on what I should do to appease this anxiety. But is it really the answer? Will I really stop being restless if I do follow through with that plan?

How about the people I'll leave behind? Are they ready?

How about my tasks? Will they be accomplished without me?

Am I ready? With all my insecurities, I doubt if I am. But, this is a step (albeit a large one) towards the resolution of those issues. If I do push through with this, I can finally leave my issues way behind. I've always been cautious of resolving my issues. I used to think that if I had no issues, I would not be able to write anymore. Well, I've long made the decision that I will give everything up for a worthy cause, even writing. And this is it.

In the meantime, while gripped by my bourgeois tendency to vacillate, I shall make a new layout for this blog.


Fossils in the closet

Last night, I was re-reading my old journals, as well as written work for various classes. I may be a bit presumptuous, but I dare say that some of what I've written then are actually good. Then I smiled, because even then, I thought what I had written is good. And this was in a time when I still believed in the myth that art is only for art's sake. That was the time when I was experimenting with half-light (known as chiaroscuro) imagery, when poems and short stories were only about mood, when characters were distant, when metaphors were abstract, airy things.

I love reading these relics, and see how I was then. I sometimes feel like an archeologist, brushing dust (sometimes literally) from fossils, never mind if I'm only looking at four-year-old fossils.

And I always get the feeling that I am an outsider looking in, even if I know I wrote these words with my own hand. Maybe it's because I'm aloof to begin with; every time I read my works, it's like discovering a new person, a new insight, a new quote, a new emotion.

Or maybe it's a subconscious effort to not feel the sharp edge of pain embedded in each work.



Dahil itong pagluha hatid man ay baha
Maging pagsigaw, dinggin man ng araw
Ang bisa'y sadyang kulang

Dahil kapos ang tula
Hitik man sa tugma, lagyan pa ng himig
Di pa rin marinig, ang awit ng pag-ibig

Kaya nga't buhay mismo ang alay
Di lang luha, sigaw, tula at awit
Kaya nga't alay mismo ang buhay
Ngayo'y di na kaila sa atin kung bakit

Dahil tayo'y pinako, sa bigong pangako
Ng dayo at hari, kasabwat ang uring
Nagsadlak sa ating puri

Dahil may nagaganap, isang paghaharap
Silang nang-aapi, tayong inaapi
Na di na pagagapi

Kaya nga't buhay mismo ang alay
Di lang luha, sigaw, tula at awit
Kaya nga't alay mismo ang buhay
Ngayo'y di na kaila sa atin kung bakit

Dahil walang himala, tayong mapapala
Bulag ang pag-asa, na ang ating dusa'y
Maglalaho ng kusa

Dahil kinakailangan, dahas sa paglaban
Hanggang sa makamtan
Ating kalayaan at ang kapayapaan

Kaya nga't buhay mismo ang alay
Di lang luha, sigaw, tula at awit
Kaya nga't alay mismo ang buhay
Ngayo'y di na kaila sa atin kung bakit